He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
