you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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