dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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