I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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