So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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