Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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