They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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