I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
