sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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