Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize