he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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