So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
