oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
did you just send me my own nude
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
