I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
