just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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