He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
