sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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