I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
