New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
