on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just want nice things and good sex
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
