i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
jump out the window naked night went bad
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
