Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
