last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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