In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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