i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize