you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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