Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
