I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
