Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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