Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
