I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
