1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think we might need a safe word for this...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
