You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
