You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
