It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
