I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
