she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
