she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
