I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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