would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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