dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
