She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
