I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize