i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
