What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
