I must be too annoying 4 u.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
