I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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