I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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