a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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