There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
