can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize