happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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