why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
