too bad you live with your parents still
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
