i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
