I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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