don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i came on her dog
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
