She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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