I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
we're so committed to being not committed
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize