Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
