and you said cock pushups were impossible
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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