My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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