in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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