Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
